Phil's Thinking

It is well understood by biblical scholars that Jesus, while giving his sermon on the mount, made implicit calls for the assassination of King Herod.

"Blessed are the meek," Jesus said, "For they shall inherit the earth. And if they can slit Herod's throat in a meek and mild way, they shall also inherit parts of Sumaria."

So why the outrage when Reverend Pat Robertson calls for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez? It is not un-Christian to kill; in fact, Jesus, when not imploring some to seek the kingdom of heaven, encouraged his followers to blow things up to kingdom come.

In Matthew 2:17, Jesus tells his flock, "He who is without sin shall cast the first stone." (pause) "Okay, let me go first."

Pat Robertson's exhortation for the murder of nasty despots is supported by the Gospels. In fact, in the Book of Luke alone, Jesus's assassination squads are responsible for over sixteen-hundred deaths, including Gamaliel the Ass Trainer and Joshua the Incontinent.

In seeking the murder of dictators, Reverend Robertson is no more out of line than the well-respected Jerry Falwell, who once urged his followers to "decapitate and disembowel David Sidaris." Nor is he any more radical than the now-retiring Billy Graham who told confidants in the fall of 1963 "to keep well hidden behind the grassy knoll."

One might argue that Robertson, who claims that God speaks to him through soap bubbles, is being remarkably restrained. There are nearly two-hundred world leaders who vex him, including French President Chirac and Pope Benedict XVI, yet he chooses only to single out Chavez.

Compare him to a Muslim leader like the radical Imam Mohammed Abdullah-Boolah Boolah, who only last year called for the murder of "all infidels named Dirk," and Robertson's indiscretion seems to be minor at best.

Jesus, betrayed by Judas in the Garden of Gethsemane, turned to his beloved apostle and screamed "You're a dead man, Judas. You hear me? A dead man!"

And so is Chavez. 700 Club, be not faint of heart.